Living with Pancreatitis...is never easy

When I first discover that I had to undergo a full blood test; the feeling was miserable...I was having self monologue session "am I that sick?"..."am I going to die?"...I could accept anything else, as I went to SUNMED initially for the purpose to justify my severe headache and body ache...after 3 tubes of blood drained out from my blood vessels I was getting more anxious...after hours of patience and anxiousness I was transferred from the ER to ordinary ward...I was happy at that moment as my mom was there to accompany me and I was given some rooms to relax in other words escapism from a "torture chamber"...mesti people who are reading this will be boggling what I mean by torture chamber; it is actually my workplace...lets continue with what happened after I was transferred to an ordinary ward...at first I was attended by a viral infectious disease expert until the result of the diagnosis was out..all of a sudden I was referred to an endocrinologist; a diabetics expert...Alhamdulillah god has sent someone to help me with the permanent life change... My glucose level at that time was 18, BP 180/101 and cholesterol 10...I was a bit depressed until the hospital had to send me for a counseling session as I was stress over work and now about my health...it took few days for me to accept the fact that I'm no longer free to eat...everything has to be low sodium,low sugar, low carb and high fibre...there goes my favorite nasi lemak and pizza as well as fruit juices...finally I was attended by a dietician an luckily she is pretty that made me to be a little bit attentive listening to her advices and suggestions... From this narration and incident I've learned one most essential thing which is not to be stressful over unnecessary stressors....it's time for me to manage my stress level...regular EXERCISE and healthy diet...LESSON LEARNED!!!time to adapt with my new life...

Student dulu VS. Student sekarang...

Student dulu vs. Student sekarang….

“Adoiii!!!”(said my 15 months nephew)…perhaps it has been ages since I last write something here (it’s always the case). When I rewind to the time I was a student, not just the air was less polluted but how people behave is so different. Tak tahu la kenape tapi memang berbeza sgt (“totally different”; mcm izza sebut…ahakz). Never mind, let’s continue what has been kept in my thoughts for so long. When I was a liitle kid I still remember how we are afraid to even talk to our teachers (respect what I mean). Even sometimes I know that I would have to settle with a decision that I don’t really agree with. Ntahle mase tu things just work that way and almost every students share the same belief when it comes to respecting others. But looking and the younger generations nowadays; sedih and kecewa when as early as in pre-school they could say what they want to say to the teachers and justified further by the parents' visit to the school (sometimes, datang dengan lawyer sekali). What a good example showed by the parents (I know there’s nothing wrong of being protective and defensive but too much isn’t good for anything). Contrary to what happened during my time; I would never have the guts to tell my mom even if I’m caned by my teachers. The reason is simply because, my mom will always be the lawyer for my teachers (teachers are always right-memang mcm orang dulu-dulu). I know some said that old fashioned and lame for now, but for me interms of shaping a child’s behavior the traditional way are always better. There’s no need of clarification as social illnesses are alarming among the young generations; and rectification is urgently needed. So to my two nephews & my students regardless where you are, hopefully you could be someone who respect others and someone who are salute because of your good behavior. AMIN… (I'm sorry if the words are not well said, but it is my concern...yela ape akan terjadi to the younger generations?)

“BIAR MISKIN HARTA, JANGAN MISKIN BUDI BAHASA”

What else after graduating?

Waaahhh!!!…lamenye tak update blog...why??? sebenarnye malas and busy...but that is just a lame excuse....answering to my question...what else???HELL a lot of thing...sometimes just wish that i could GM(genitacally modify) my self so that i could stay at a particular age that i enjoyed most...is that possible??i don't think so...but never mind,lets continue with my story...anyway life after graduating has never been easy as you thought. Too many challenges perhaps…everything is about paying bills and the worse part would be pursuing my masters degree…paying bills is very taxing where in 10minutes time or perhaps in a blink of eye via maybank2u.com it's empty....aaaarrrgggghhhhh...stressful but its my responsibilities as a son and as to Allah S.W.T....regarding the master, i do feel that i better get started before it turns rusty; imean my brains... it will be very challenging due to the fact that working and studying is two tedious things but enjoyable…Mengajar versus Belajar…same verb but different task and responsibilities. For now I’m very happy with what the Almighty has provided for me and home HE would shower me with more blissful events and blessed me with good things…But my mind just can’t stop boggling about what’s next???what’s next???...am I on the right path???....Hopefully things will be fine and I will just follow the flow as I have faith that everything is already written and we plan but Allah determines….The end of my undergraduate life is just the beginning of my life…let’s color this new chapter with colorful things…One more thing I am grateful as I am always bless with good people surrounding and filling in the blanks in my life especially my family….same goes to my colleagues no matter where they are and my beloved students….But I still wonder why, a lot of students nowadays are rude and ungrateful??? I’m sad and curious and pissed off!!!!mixed mode…

Life After finishing school.....

It has been soo3x long after my last entry due to time constrains....After the massive work load finalizing my final year project...I’m now more relax and I finally have my own sweet time....doing whatever I wanted to do before (macam qada’ la) nak tidooooooo, hehehe....now I’m worried with my final results and life as a post graduate students.. I thought life would be easier after graduating but it is surely and certainly a misconception...it is definitely more tiring, challenging, mind boggling and worrying with lots more responsibilities.....I've promised to myself to make my family happy especially my mom...Life is too short and you will never know up till when Allah pinjamkan the life to me and happiness because it is all temporary after all....So I really need to gear up as fast as I could...Insya-Allah I'llbe able to manage with all this...Perhaps I am now more concern about employment issues rather than my studies like before, where will I work?? Which organization? My career path and furthering my education.....last but not least the paycheck (not to be money minded but money is now days a necessity.... Hopefully I will be employed and working with an above average organization so that I can pursue with whatever I’d planned earlier...We plan but Allah determine.....To my students Happy School Holidays and good luck to everyone in life and whatever you are in to......

4 down and 1 to go....

Alhamdulillah....i'm now down with 4 and 1 more left to be finalized...though i'm sure the 4 is not final and i still have lots more to ammend as usual...sometimes i'm just curious whenever i got back the thing(a taboo word for now), it will be full of scribbles and corrections even though it is the 4th time i resubmitted it...There goes the self-talk "aq ni x cerdik sgt ke smpai semua aq buat x pernah betul?!!!" or is it "sape yang problematic ni?" to high expectations perhaps....maybe its better to aim for the sky coz u'll drop on the clouds... sad but i guess i have to swallow it even it is so painful and bitter...sometimes i'm puzzled when it comes to this thing......Hopefully Allah will ease my process of finalizing it and help me to have the perseverence and patience to deal with this kind of situations which i'll be facing it sooner when i start working....Never mind Mohamad Ateff, Allah will never be cruel to his slaves.....God will help those who help themeseleves....Believe it and it will come to you!!!Law of attraction...

Brain damage.....

Towards the end of the semester, everything is starting to get dirty and messy....assignments are swarming over the head and life can be so miserable with the countless da of sleeping on top of the burden of finalizing my A.E....Fiuh!!!!!Penatnye!!!!!!!!Somehow i think the root course is me.....Poor time management and the everlasting procastination thingy....This week is a bonus that i guess should be utilized to get back alligned to the plan i had scheduled and clean the mess and start finalizing my Chapter 4 & 5........God Help me with this semester and give me the strength to face this challenging life.....

2010-hopefully the beginning of the triumph

My New Year Resolution for 2010 (hopefully I could attain all this) : Final edition for this year

• I have to be persistent in every single thing I do especially my studies and graduate with the highest result I could get
• I will always try to be a better person mentally, physically, emotionally and morally
• I will continue the effort to reduce my weight
• I will never make my mom sad and love her always and for eternity
• I will appreciate and cherish my family
• I will always remember and be more devoted to Allah
• I will be grateful with anything
• Have more saving in my account
• Be employed maybe as a contract lecturer at INTEC (this is more to doa i guess amin)
• Apply and continue for M.A program
  
  -AMIN-

Sometimes it’s tiring to be fat...

Just can’t describe how tired I am physically and mentally to hold the BMI reading of an overweight person. Back when I was in upper secondary, my weight was just nice and I was very happy at that particular moment of my life. I was free to do anything without any physical limitations, and more energetic. But that was just my past history. Due to pressure in life or I take it as a test from god, I gained so much weight nearly 50kilos...Sad but no regrets!!(nabi x suke umat die menyesal). It’s quite pathetic to put the blame on the situation, so let me take the responsibility on my overweight problem and clean the mess starting from now. When i exercise I tend to face the joint pains which only fat people will face this and sometimes my heart beats really fast and feels like vomiting whenever i forced my body to work beyond it's capability or when i rigorously work out....this had never happened to me before....(rase mcm nak nagis)... Sometimes some human just love to humiliate fat people and I felt that especially when I’m in the family gathering...They will start saying like “ish ko ni sehat skrg” (even the word “sehat” has it’s implied meaning)..to add the icing every time the food is served people will say this ”ha simpan sket utk org belakang” or when the food container is empty they will assume that the fat guy has eaten it all, so phrase like "ko no peti ais ke ape?"..This is so not fair..I’m tired of all this criticism by those who used their ass when they talk instead of their brains..There are no single fat person on this earth like to be that way...I’m seriously tired of this prejudice and discrimination towards fat guys or girls...WHY???I’m extremely tired when I had to ask for extra large size clothes when i go for shopping and usually left me with despair and frustration especially during big sales...DAMN!!!I’m really tired of all this!!!

Now I’m starting to adapt with not eating rice at all and i have to continue this for a year so that I can go back into my ideal weight...Just can’t bare of being overweight anymore...Ya Allah please give me the strength to follow this diet religiously so that I will be free from being an overweight 22 years old guy and benefits my health...hopefully i will get the support from my family and friends to reach my goal...

A.E("BOSAN" but important)

What is an A.E without revising, editing and formatting...when it comes to A.E the word is short yet simple but the work and effort required is tremendously torturing... Not to generalize but most of my friends hates it especially when your supervisor starts to stalk where ever you go via sms, disturbing phone calls early in the morning, e-mail or even facebook just to update the progress of your A.E....However it is a fact that in order to walk on the stage and receive the scroll, it has to be finalized and completed...Just imagine, not graduating just because of the A.E...That’s silly and horrendous... Sometimes you might get annoyed to be asked to revise and edit for so many times but it will help you to produce a good A.E by the end of the semester...Just imagine graduating with a “cincai” thesis, yes you graduate, but no satisfaction...

To all my friends’ who is still struggling to fight with their laziness, start doing it a.s.a.p...It is still not too late...Take supervisor’s comments positively and they will help to enlighten your uncertainty towards A.E even sometimes you will be asked to edit your draft for more than 5 times (the keyword is “SABAR” or patience and perseverance)....Gear Up Guys!!!And start doing it...P/S: ALL MY BELOVED FRIENDS...WE REGISTERED TOGETHER, AND WHY NOT WE FINISH THIS BATTLE TOGETHER....GOOD LUCK TO MY FRIENDS FOR A.E....PLAY HARD, WORK HARD, STUDY HARD AND PRAY HARD....

What a holiday!!!

Visiting Singapore was a nightmare for my family and I...Too much expectations and we end up the journey with so many frustrations...It used to be a place where you can get a lot of imported branded items at a very low price...That was in the 1990’s I guess...Perhaps now Malaysia is already aligned or on par with Singapore in terms of branded items in fact the prices after the conversion is definitely more expensive in Singapore as compared to the lovely Malaysia...Why waste time, energy and money to get all those branded items when you can get it all here...However there are few things that you should check out when you are in Singapore:

THINGS YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT:
1. The digital items such as camera, and phones are cheap in Singapore
2. The perfumes are also extremely cheap in Singapore
3. The toilets are clean
4. The shopping malls are clean and the air freshener is effective
5. You can get a t-shirt as low as 2sing dollar per t-shirt

THINGS YOU SHOULD EXPECT:

1. You have to walk really far from one place to another even if it is just opposite for an instance Wisma Atria And CK TANG where you need to take an underground subway to across the road. Poor to the senior citzens especially to those who suffer from any related knee pains.In this case my mom...

2. Most of the branded items are sold at the same price but different currency for an instance RAY BAN shades are sold at 499 sing dollar and here in Malaysia it is RM499

3. For muslims, Halal food is quite difficult to be found in Singapore

To Zip this off, I guess the fact that Singapore is clean is true but not super clean...Thus my Holiday to Singapore was just OK....Luckily I grab the Nikon L100 coolpix...Thanx to Allah for giving our family the some extra or "rezeki lebih" for us to go for a holiday...

More weekends...

I guess sometimes the time we have for weekends is too limited...Even some said that it is the matter of spending quality time not quantity...I however propose that we should have "Ahad 2" because it would be wonderful!!The fact that sometimes the 2 days of weekends that we are having is insufficient made me all of the sudden thought of this issue...Just imagine that if we could have 3 days of weekends, we could spend more time with our family and friends...more time to shop, to eat, to sleep and lots more...Isn't it?or maybe it is just me thinking of this silly proposal....hehehe...I hated so much when on every saturday we could only spend less than 12 hours because usually for those who are working, saturday would probably be the best day to "Qada'" their precious sleeping momments...The worse part is when some of them had to work on alternate saturday.....FIUH!!!How i wish this proposal could be accepted by the parliment!!!(even though i know it is impossible)...However this is just my view and perceptions and i'm sure a lot of disagreement will arise.....The more the marrier and the more weekends the happier!!!

Just the two of US....tribute to ABAH...

This would be my last year receiving duet raya and next year would be the other way around...This year I thought that there will be no more duet raya but it was a mistake...Alhamdulillah I still managed to get a few hundreds....The older I am the more thinking process took place in my head...Sometimes to think of it, susah jugak to be an adult working person...but perhaps next year my raya would be a totally different one...Thus I believe that this year, I have to celebrate raya to the fullest because it would be my last raya as a student....no more duet raya....

This year was also the first year I celebrated raya without along & abg dot...But perhaps that’s the fact that I have to accept that both of them are married and they have their own life...However I celebrated raya at Batu pahat and it was a blast regardless the arguments and fights that has become a tradition when it comes to raya in maktok’s place...Nonetheless everything was the same, just the two of us, my mom and I and we have to get use to it...Sometimes life is isn’y always fair...We can’t get everything we want....So live with it....TWO OF US IS FINE TO ME AS LONG AS MY MOM IS WITH ME.....TO LATE ABAH, I HOPE THAT YOU CAN HEAR THIS: “I MISS YOU SO MUCH, BUT I’M SURE YOU ARE HAPPIER THERE...MAY ALLAH LISTENS TO EACH OF MY PRAYERS...AL-FATIHAH”

Hari Raya!!!!

When it comes to raya, it doesn't matter raya haji or raya puasa people are willing to spend everything including their energy regardless the countless amount of money...Sometimes I guess i hate the part when my family had to gotong royong and kemas the house...However no kemas no raya!!Thats what my mom told me each RAYA and somehow i kind of agreed with that....Sometimes, we cried during the eve of raya because we were too tired or perhaps having fun while draining out our energy to ensure the house looks nice for raya...This year we had decided to twist the situation by doing it 1 week earlier so that we can enjoy the last few days for shopping and chatting with our family members...Congratulations to our family for making this dream a reality...hehehe....Therefore the best word to describe raya is "TIRED"....But all that tiredness pays during the raya especially the first day of Raya...To all, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri....May this Raya be the best raya ever....AMIN....

the best gift ever...

Water!!!

This is vital for everyone...Our body need at least 35ml of plain water per kilogram of our body weight(for an instance,if your body weigh 20kg; you need 700ml of water every each day)..Start counting to ensure that our body get the sufficient amount of liquid especially during Ramadhan!!!

"How difficult to say goodbye to a place called ASIS"

Initially, when some of my friends were complaining about their schools i was never at the same shoes with them...However in the middle of the journey when some of my friends were gossiping about their supervisors and mentors, I was busy strenghtening the relatioship with this two important figures for my practicum...Towards the end of the practicum session, when some of my friends are happy to leave the school, I'm crying inside and out wondering why was the time given is too short...

Perhaps i have to be grateful with what had been given by Allah at this momment and the privillages that are only temporary...I should say thanx to my beautiful and kind mentor for giving me the support and knowledge through out my practicum at that institution...Just can't imagine how could i survive without all these helping hands...Even the administration of the school was very warm...The best part would be the students of ASIS who were always listening attentively and supportive in whatever acitivities conducted....I was touched when some of the students cried during the last lesson of each class.....I was trying to hold my emotion everytime they "Salam and cium tangan", I don't want to show infront of them......Back in the staff's room,it's was very difficult momment when i had to pack my work station on the last day.....The teachers keep saying this "tak sangka that today is your last day"...It was just undescribeable how was my feeling at that time...This is a secret but actually i cried yesterday when i salam my mentor for the last time especially when my mentor said this "Take care" and "i didn't teach you much, you are already good"...Kak Wan thanx alot for everything you would be my inspiration as a teacher and as a whole...

During the last assembly, I was given the honor to give a farewell speech to everyone....I was speechless at that momment but alhamdulillah i managed to diliver it....One thing for sure, this would be my last advice to the students "YOU CAN BE THE MOST INFLUENTIAL PEOPLE, THE MOST RICHEST AND THE MOST INTELLIGENT PEOPLE ON EARTH BUT WITH NO ATTITUDE; YOU ARE NOTHING!!"...Double thumbs up to everyone in ASIS!!...This is why i guess it was so difficult to say goodbye to a place like ASIS...

Final day with the boys 2...

Set B......Quiete but full of happiness!

Final day with the boys...

The set A Boys....

beginning of a chapter at the end of a story....

Sometimes to kick a start we need something to trigger it...Perhaps the end of practicum had made me realized that I need to fulfill my desire of creating my own blog...Semester 7 is where i finally had ample time to do so,but before this i'd created one however it last for only few months...hope this time around i'm going to be serious about it....after reading and visiting some of my friend's blog, feels like "best giler" to own one...but to fwenz do help me with it....hope tak "hangat-hangat tahi ayam" like before....

pics.....

The set C Worriors(so called casanova of ASIS,hehehe..)